5.23.2014

It's been a while---

It's been over a year---two MAJOR changes in my life--- 1) I lost and found my mother and realized that even though I've found her, I've also lost her---This disease called Alzheimer's is something that I cannot control, doctors cannot cure, nurses are compassionate (if you find the right ones) and you shield your heart every time you visit. Today is my birthday and I received a beautiful wakeup call from my friend RoseMary. She sang "Las Mananitas" and it was recorded....I took that to see mom and played it for her. She broke out into a big smile and started to mouth the words to the song.....what a wonderful blessing twice over. Once from RoseMary and then from Mom. "The mind forgets but the heart remembers". Best birthday gift!!!
2) I've lost my friend, Terri---feelings of guilt, loss, loneliness and fear all have been part of my grieving process! It's been a year and a half---the guilt of not calling her often enough, not counseling her to take care of herself, not visiting more have dissipated a bit. The loss will always be there. Loneliness---because we shared so much, will always be part of losing a dear, dear friend and not having someone who really "got you" to share stuff with---I was blessed to have her as a friend and I miss her terribly. Fear--- comes with age and your own mortality. Know your God and knowing that He said "do not be Afraid" is probably all I must remember and taking stock of who I am in His name. Plus being the best that I can be in all that I do. Fear? It creeps up every once in a while. I do miss her! Today is my birthday and she always took time to share a cup of coffee with me on this day! Thanks, Terri!
Our summer begins this weekend---we are so looking forward to it! We will get to see all of the grandkids--not all together but spend quality time with each one of them and we are thrilled. Bring it on!!