when the time comes

When the time comes, I pray that all my children will be able to connect lovingly and compassionately to decide what is best for one or both of us.

Knowledge is key to successful communication, if we don't have all the information needed we can't communicate with each other. God gave us two ears and one mouth.....we should be able to use the two ears before the mouth gets in the way. Bringing up past history only makes one hysterical......so all history should be put aside. Listening with the heart first, allows all to speak without feeling intimidated, belittled, inadequate or incapable. Listening with the heart first, allows all to listen to the tiny voice that wants to tell the truth the way it is seen by the one speaking or to view a different perspective. Listening with the heart allows some softening......perhaps ........allows all to come to a realization of what is going on with the other.......it may make us unselfish at that. Puts some ground beneath the attacks.....makes way for sharing concern, love, compassion.........OR.........maybe not!!! If there is no room to connect with your siblings.
Communication is more than a transfer of information; it is the forming of a connection that includes heart and soul, thought and feeling.

My mother has Alzhemir's!! Alzhemir's is a terrible disease, an unknown cure. " a painful, wasting disease" According to Claudia J. Strauss "Alzheimer's was dismissed as an untreatable disorder, and the strategy of care consisted of custodial services in environments that were essentially warehouses....it is now evident that, although the biology of neurodegeneration gradually plunders the cognitive abilities of the person with the disease, the strategies of care and the communications skills of the care provider could help to maintain independent functioning and life with dignity, and slow the rate of losses in the activities of daily living. " What do we do now? How do we help when no help is wanted, really wanted? "Control" has a name and it's not easy or pleasant to talk to him/her. They have all the ins and outs of caring for mom and are unwilling to risk giving some of it up for fear of losing control. Their loss and ours as well.


When the time comes I pray that our children will listen to each other ..... be kind and tenderhearted as Ephesians 4:32 tells us to be. To encourage one another....1 Thessaloians 5:11 but most of all, love one another deeply from the heart.....Peter 1:22