Weekend is near....

        Mom went home last night....we were notified at 10:30 pm.  They got a hospital bed for her too.  She is to continue bed rest for the next 6 - 8 weeks, bearing no weight.  Therefore, she cannot get up to go to the bathroom, to bathe, to eat, etc.  Nurses were supposed to be called to set up times as to when they were going to visit the house.  I asked if we had visiting hours as well......they were to let us know this afternoon.  So far, nothing has been said about that!  But she's home, I'm sure she will do okay.....but our visits have been cut all together until we "have permission" to see her.....that "sucks"!!  (sorry, I don't usually say that) 

        In the meantime....G & G got home! Bathroom is not finished but they were thrilled with the results so far.  I'm happy with that....but next week will be filled with trying to finish it and I'm not sure how much time I can devote to that project as I started to fill my calendar with things to do.  Oh well...back to the rescheduling board! 

        So thankful for the weekend! 

Oh my!!

        Stopped by to see mom today.  With coffee in hand and a cotton sweater I had to change out the blue one she has been wearing for the last two weeks, I walked down the hall only to be told she wasn't there.  She wasn't there!!  I asked where she was and they told me to ask my brother.  Seriously, you can't tell me if she's checked out!  Come to find out, the nurse, who doesn't divulge any information, finally said mom was taken to a doctor's appointment.  I asked if she would be back and all he could say was that she was not checked out.  What will I find tomorrow?  Or will they even let us know if they check her out?    Such is the communication!!!

     In the meantime, G & G are on their way back and the bathroom remodel is not  complete.....yikes!!  This never happens in TV home shows where they get the work done in two or three days, does it?????? 

Clearly Another Day

        I felt guilty not seeing mom on Friday but timing was not right....I did, however, see her on Saturday and Sunday.  Saturday, I met my sister and we had "brunch" with mom.  She ate a blueberry muffin which is the most I've seen her eat for breakfast since she got there.  This was good.  We had a nice conversation, up until we had to leave.  Mom got weepy and confused as to why we weren't taking her with us.  The nurses came in and told her she needed to be bathed and that seemed to help out a bit.  It's hard to leave when she's like that.
        Sunday, after church and breakfast Tony and I both went in to see mom.  It was around noon, she had just been to occupational therapy and was in a great mood.  We wheeled her in to a very nice, open rec room.  We sat around a small table and they were able to serve her lunch there.  This was great.  We talked while she ate her lunch and it was good to see her feed herself and continue to visit.  It wasn't until she focused on a painting across from her that she started recounting things that probably didn't happen.  We had a hard time refocusing as she kept coming back to the same story several times.  After her dessert, we wheeled her to the nurses station  which is where she likes to be.  There she can visit with another patient, Mrs. Woodhouse.  They are very cute together, holding hands, telling each other stories and laughing.  My mom tends to be very social.  We left her in good hands. 
        Monday was difficult to get there, I had a slight stomach bug that prevented me from going too far and I certainly didn't want to give it to her.   
        Today was better and I've been to see her......she was surprised to see me, she was weepy and asked if the nurses had called me.  That was an indication of  something gone poorly!!!  Apparently, she refused her breakfast, had yelled at them and become irritated.  In a way it's funny because my walking in made it seem as though she had been "caught" acting like a naughty girl.  Oh mother!!!  We visited for a while, still confused....I watered her lovely plant, a begonia.  She told me not to do that, I told her that the plant like her needed to be fed and watered or it would die.  She very stubbornly told me to let it die......I hate it when she talks that way.  We changed the conversation to the sunshine and possibility of rain. I showed her pictures of grandkids, the same ones I show her every day.....she delights in seeing them for the "first time".   
        I don't know what tomorrow will bring.  I watched her as she napped off and on during my visit.  Clearly she has beautiful skin,  even with all the weight loss, she barely has wrinkles on her face.  She doesn't have skin flaws other than the brusing she still has from her hospital stay.  Her facial skin is creamy white and soft.  Her sleep is interrupted by noises outside her door and she gets startled which leaves her confused and asking where she is. 
        What is it that Scarlett O'Hara says......"tomorrow is another day"......or maybe Annie....."the sun will come out tomorrow".  I don't know what tomorrow will bring.


        Today is my in-laws 64th wedding anniversary!!!  Congratulations to them.  I've been "babysitting" the house while they've been on vacation and their bathroom has been remodeled.  It's been tedious but I've been genuinely glad to do it!  Congratulations to  them with all of my love.

All in all it was a good day!

     I walked into mom's room this morning, she was awake and sitting in a wheelchair.  She looked rested and clean.  She had again refused her breakfast, so I asked if they would bring something that I could coax her into eating.  They brought a bowl of oatmeal and a small glass of juice.  Mom refused to even taste it.  At 9:00 a.m. Lory walked in with mom's meds, crushed and mixed into a paste using a milkshake of sorts.  Mom would barely open her mouth, she'd arch her back and spit whatever was placed in there.  Ugh! she was frustrating!  Lory had a milkshake waiting for her and when mom wasn't watching he mixed the meds into the shake hoping mom would take them that way.  She took most of it.  The problem with not taking her meds at this time was that she would not be offered any others until 3:00 p.m.  Mixed in these were her pain meds.  We had a short visit, but it was a good visit.
     Yesterday I talked to Jack, Social Worker, at the rehab center and he was getting back to me concerning the power of attorney, rights we have in asking questions concerning mom, her care and her needs.  Well.....today we were told it was up to the "responsible party" to allow us to know any of this.  Federal law prevents us from getting any answers unless our little brother says we are on the "approved list".  Wow!!!  So instead of being cordial, communicative, informative concerning mom we are to ask our questions on a yellow tablet left on her nightstand and when "they" get to it they'll respond.  How 'bout that?  We can't win this battle, but we won't give him the opportunity to hold out anything either.  The nurses have, in their own way, filled us in on what's going on.  Mary and I have been appreciative of this and have shown it.  They know what kind of person they're dealing with in him. 
     I was able to come home before 11:00 a.m. this morning....after sitting at Addax waiting for the workmen to finish for the day.  This is my second week staying over there while the guest bath is being remodeled.  It has been a long two weeks!  I've gotten some scrapbooking done, made CM calls, and somehow my business part of this has been great! 
     Because I was home most of today, laundry was finished, the floors were swept and mopped and dinner was on time!  All in all it was a good day.......God will somehow let us know what we need to know about mom.  Patience, persistence, prayers, and gratitude is all we need right now.   

Forgotten moments...forever on my heart!

       She came in and closed the door behind her and in whispers, Rosanna (nurse) told me that mom had done very well yesterday after I left.  She had been taken to the cafeteria, sat in the wheelchair and had her lunch.  She fed herself and ate all of it.  I was relieved to hear this, as she wouldn't take but a few bites of breakfast for me.  Rosanna informed me that she would do that again today.  In came another wonderful angel, Kristina.  Kristina greeted mom like a long lost friend and explained to her what was going to happen next.  They had to change mom's "diaper" because she had soiled herself.  It was painful to watch but I needed to be there so mom could hang on to me as they rolled her from side to side, yes, even the side to lay on the broken pelvis.  She screamed and cried and clung.....I was helpless, I couldn't ease her pain.  All I could do was tell her that the nurses knew what they were doing and it would soon be alright.   And it was!  Within minutes mom forgot that she had been washed and cleaned.  She forgot the pain, she forgot Rosanna and Kristina, who had been in with her, she forgot what had just occurred.  I doubt that she will remember that I was there today, but I will. 

Thank God for the One who makes a difference..and then there's the other one

        2 p.m---There's always one person who seems to know when it's the right thing to do whether it's within the "rules" or not.  It's just right ......thank you for Alma!  She knew what was being said about not divulging any information to those (me and Mary) not on "the list"....yet she in so many kind words to mom told me all I needed to know about her behavior this morning.  Mom refused her breakfast, she hadn't been to the bathroom (in her Depends), she hadn't taken her meds ...all she wanted to do was sleep.  I woke her up, much to her dislike, ordered a breakfast tray and fed her.  We did airplane into the airport hanger.....anything to get her to open her mouth and take a spoonful of Cream of Wheat.  Seven bites later, she arched her back and refused.  Told me it was painful to eat, to swallow, that her throat hurt, that her "nalgas" hurt.  I asked them to come check her and they did.....again thank you for doing the "right" thing! 
      The Speech Therapist came in and did a swallow assessment on her and decided to call mom's doctor for a swallow test.  I don't know where this will lead because I have no authority to ask for this and this was on the therapist recommendation but on my insistance to check mom out.   Those in "authority" were called and they did not answer their phone.  Basically, they were called to have me(us) put on "the list" so they (the nurses) could talk to us. I wasn't asking for authorization on decision making, I just want information on how mom is doing when I'm not there.  No call back while I was there for over 2 hours.....so we'll see what happens next. 
     Mom is frail, fragile, sad, depressed, confused, in unfamiliar surroundings, and alone.  Her mind is clouded with cobwebs, a tangle of fine silken thoughts leading to places she can't remember, people she can't seem to forget but doesn't know where they are, timelines that intermix, shadows that frighten her, thoughts that escape, and words she can't grasp anymore.  For a moment she becomes lucid and then she reverts back to her state of confusion.  She can be very funny one moment and crying the next.  She has hidden anger and I see it when her jaw stiffens and her lips tremble. 
     My mom and I were never "friends".  She was my mother and I was always made to remember that I was the child.  We never teased each other, shopped as adults, had a leisurely lunch over wine, talked about kids, talked about husbands or men in general.  We never went to the beauty shop or the nail shop to get a manicure or a pedicure......there were times when we really never had anything to say to each other.  Not even talk about the weather.  Conversations were forced.  When she and daddy decided that the Catholic faith was no longer theirs, she made it a point to tell me how wrong I was to follow a church that believed Jesus was dead.....(the crucifix).  Her Jesus was alive.  The Rosary which had been such a part of her life was a bunch of beads that no longer spoke to her heart.  Oh mom, what beautiful conversations we could have had......had I been strong enough then to tell you how I believe. 
       8 p.m.  So what happened next----he threw my sister out of mom's room!!  Told her that if we wanted to know anything about mom we should write down on the tablet provided and they would answer whenever!!!  Told her to get the "f---" out of there because mom didn't want any part of her or me!!!  That's family on my side!!!
    I'm sad, confused, hurt!!

Must look at the positive side

      A week ago today my mother fell, was taken to the hospital and diagnosed with a broken pelvis.  I didn't hear about this until late Tuesday afternoon.  How sad that there is a control issue here where my mom is concerned.  The hospital visits were frequent, much more so than if she were in her home....this is a good thing.  Then there was the move to the re-hab facility and the visits were better because it was closer to my home.....this too is a good thing.  UNTIL today!  My sister, Mary, was told by the nurse that we could not be given any information concerning mom because we "weren't on the list".....NOT on the list????  Where did this come from????  There was to be no discussion on treatments, meds, therapy, meals, etc....because we are not on the LIST!!! 
     A week ago my mother fell, she's been in pain, she is confused, she doesn't know where she is. I watched....helpless.  I sat with her and watched as she dozed in and out of sleep, it wasn't a peaceful sleep.  She twitched, she grabbed for her blanket, she moaned.  I watched...the only thing I could think of doing was to say the rosary.  Mom hasn't said a rosary is over 35 years, but I didn't feel that I overstepped her faith believes, after all she used to say it....and it made me feel better....this was a good thing. 
     Tomorrow I will go and visit her again, ask about her therapy, her meds, her meals, whether she slept tonight......I will ask because I am her daughter, list or not, I have a right to know because she is my mother!!! AND I will continue to ask.